There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
