the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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