i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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