She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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