She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
