I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I love you.
Bad choice
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize