She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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