I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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