I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
