we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
