Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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