stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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