Sponge bath it is.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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