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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the day after is always just damage control
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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