So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
