he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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