Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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