I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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