woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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