Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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