who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
