Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
