32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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