anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So much Jack, so little girl.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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