you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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