.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
