On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
