they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
do nipples grow back?
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