I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
