Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
