That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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