The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
