so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
