Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
