When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
