I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize