Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize