the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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