Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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