There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
