you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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