Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize