I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
