remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
