At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
