You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize