Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
