____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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