If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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