haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
