Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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