PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
