im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
