You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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