he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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