i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
