Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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