mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I don't think brook has ever known best
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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