I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize