We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
