look no pants
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
