We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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