I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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