why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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