I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
