Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
