I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize