can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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