i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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